Evil Rant *Ominous Music*

Who likes evil, raise their hand... *most people raise their hand*... *goodie-two-shoes look nervous*. Most people have a want to play an evil character in an RPG. Why is this? Because RPGs are an escape from reality! They're not real! People can pretend for a moment without the fear of actually doing 15 to life.

My beef is with the 90% of these people that don't seem to understand what evil is. Let them play an evil character and what happens? Psychotic random murderous rampage of blood orgies while laughing the entire time (maniacally)! This is even the result no matter the evil alignment choice. I can almost understand this action if they're Chaotic Evil. Evil = bad, Chaos = random. But back the truck up suckah! Chaotic Evil means in a nutshell that you do not like laws or being constrained by them, you believe in yourself first and foremost, and you don't have an accurate (according to those previously mentioned "goodie-two-shoes"... and hey, why do bad guys have to have only one shoe anyways???) moral compass. This does not mean you are a psychopathic fucking nut-ball murderous fiend from Hell!

Let's flip the evil-coin here for a minute. Lawful Evil. This is often misunderstood (especially by the new comer). The "Lawful" in Lawful Evil does not mean you have to obey the laws while having a devil on your shoulder talking to you. It means you believe that there should be a set of rules, laws, or a code that people should have to follow (although in this case they're usually of the evil variety). You usually desire to be on the top of this hierarchy so you can reap the full benefits of this order. You aspire to world domination; and all other manner of this kind of wonderful stuff. On a further Lawful note (and digressing slightly from Evil for a second), you can play a Lawful Good character that does not follow society's laws. "What???" you say? Think of Batman for example. He does not follow society's laws in the slightest; but he has his own set of very strict values and codes that he imposes on everyone around him.

OK, time to act evil! Get out there and stomp on some lesser folk to get ahead!... wait... *pushes the reverse button*... You don't have to act outwardly evil! You can even act good! I know I'm blowing some people's minds, but read ahead please. If you yourself are Chaotic Evil, and you are at work, working close with a group of people that are of the Lawful Good variety; would you constantly be pissing in their coffee, putting tacks on their chairs, or all out physically attacking them? No, you wouldn't. You'd be trying to at least somewhat emulate their Lawful Good behavior so that your Evil nature goes unnoticed. Especially if you have the penalty of being fired looming over your head. Let's apply this situation to D&D for a second. Say you're playing a Chaotic Evil Rogue. You are in a group with a Lawful Good Cleric, a Neutral Good Fighter, and a Chaotic Good Barbarian. You are traveling through a land where there are many local watchmen patrolling around, a strong grasp of power secured by the local Lawful Neutral King, and a penalty for theft of chopping off the offending hand. Would you given the chance, try to pick the pockets of the local merchant, rape and murder a helpless damsel left alone with you for you to protect, try to save a group of goblins that are attacked by your party? No, you wouldn't. You would be grinning showing your pearly-whites, acting all nice and proper but hating every minute of it and just waiting for your time to release some pent up evil energy.

Let's turn our attention to the DM/GM for a second. Yes, I'm looking at you! Why is it SO hard for some DMs or GMs to run a campaign with one or two (or even an entire party) Evil characters in it? If your players are playing their evil characters properly (see above), then there should be no problems; in fact, it should add to the campaign, making it more rich in flavor and making your job easier by adding awesome twists and turns and plot hooks! If they are playing them like the psychopathic killer on acid filled with rabies, then guess what... they'll soon die or be in jail. Problem solved. And to all you people who legitimately want to play the crazy shit brained murderous psycho and role play it properly: cool! Just know this, unless the campaign is designed to entertain such characters, one of two results will be the case. 1) You will die or spend the rest of your days rotting in the depths of the King's dungeon. 2) Your DM or GM can't handle characters like yours (DMs/GMs, see my previous rant about killing off problem characters as a solution) and you will take over their campaign. Bonus for you!